They had done their best to look like the Earthlings and blend in with them, but now, the Martian elders could only sit and watch in vain as the humans on Earth made their escape. "Damn them and their impenetrable sneeze guard technology!" the elders cried.

Aghhhh, look at the ant people. Mildred, you want to cause a natural disaster again? Remember the time we had destroying Florida! Oh, for funů.

"Looky at all them buildings & little people down there? They all look like little ants from up here." "Those are ants, Gramps. They really need to spray for them on this ride."

"Ooh! This is the most exciting Mold Growing International Championships we've had in years!"

French public toilets upgrade, offering views of Italian public toilets.

Wow, Safeco Field is great! Now if only there was a team to watch...

Little-known fact: the 1904 World's Fair included a Gravitron.

The Gods are always watching, and they're a sick bunch of sadistic old farts, so be careful.

Ultimately, designers realized that not placing a roof over the world's largest hornet's nest was an oversight.

Which circle of Hell is it where the damned have to share a train seat with his mother in law?

"You know, Sally? I kind of expected something more from the World's Largest Bacteria Culture."
"Well, it's only the World's Largest Bacteria culture if you don't count grade school."
"Or that hotel in Vegas where Pete stayed for Eric and MaryAnn's wedding. Wanna go to a museum now?"
"You go ahead, Erik. I'll gimp along a little later."

Look, Martha, the little pissants are complaining about the drought and the cost of gasoline, how droll.

Monsanto's "Watching the Grass Grow" exhibit really wowed 'em at the 1939 World's Fair in New York.

"What did you say these were called again?"



Poor medical students on charity scholarships must view surgery from extremely high in the seating area.

In the overpopulated, polluted dystopia of <echo>The Future</echo>, people are willing to play Musical Chairs in an orbiting saucer for a priceless acre of unspoiled land. The winner has to clean up the broken glass and shattered bodies of losers blown through the airlock, true... but that's Urban Development for you!

Mrs. Alfred Watley's needlepoint masterpiece, "The Forest Primeval," viewed by thousands of visitors, was the hit of the 1953 Wisconsin State Fair.

"George, Dick, look! From up here, Cindy Sheehan and the other rabble look like ants!"

"Hot damn, yer right, Laura! Hey, Karl, get me my magnifyin' glass."

For real apocalyptic fun, come to the Rapture-in-the-Round dinner theater!

See, I told you Earth was being watched by Higher Beings.

"$50 billion to shrink me so that I can perform a Q.A. on Nerf footballs and they can't even clean my window?!?"

Giant beings from another dimension place their bets on just how long it will take the Earthlings to completely wipe out the Amazon rain forest.

In the future, cappers will travel around the globe in anti-gravity saucers, making fun of news events as they happen.

While in France, be sure to visit the "Sewers of Paris" Tour and the exciting "Theater of Merde."

"We always used to enjoy spending a Sunday afternoon watching the clone armies."

The God Machine proved an awful temptation to the cattier folk of Providence. "Oh. Can you BELIEVE some people actually fall for aluminum siding?" "Tsk tsk tsk. I've seen tool sheds bigger than that house." "Oooh, I know! Let's start a rusting-car-up-on-blocks checklist!" "Great idea! Oooh. I see a Chevy." "I see a Buick." "Well, *I* see a Gran Torino." (hush of awe) "Do junked refrigerators count, or should we start a separate checklist for those?" "And what about pink flamingos?" "Or garden gnomes?" "Or above-ground pools?" And the snarking continued.

Monsanto's new Crop Circles of the Midwest attraction is very popular.