WILL CAP FOR FOOD

(Brought to you by the letters B and C, and the number 228)


Agent_Moldy:
"Big Bird, man, this Atkins business is killing me!"
"But Cookie Monster, we've both lost so much weight! We can't quit now!"
"I swear, if I don't get a cookie soon, I'm gonna go f**kin' postal on someone's ass!"
"Now, CM, there's no need for th --"
"Bite me, seed head!"



suggs:
Wanting to avoid yet another scandal, Lindsey Lohan's people quickly denied she is in the Cookie Monster suit, or has any interest in the furry lifestyle. The unknown person in the Big Bird suit could not be found for comment.


Lanzman:
"Cookie!"
"No time for cookies! We've got to get this gay marriage bill passed so that we can finally be together!"
"Cookie?"
"No, no cookie!!"
"Blowjob?"
"Well . . . all right."



Scypha:
"OK, Cookie Monster. If I give you this magical talisman written in invisible ink, do you promise to stop thinking that Elmo is a moving plate of raspberry cream cookies?" "Uh, sure thing, Medium-Sized Bird."


Mr_Grant:
The Guardian publishes leaked photos of torture in secret CIA prisons-- Arab Sesame Street erupts in protest.


questor:
This is why third party candidates never do well in the general election.


Batqueen:
"Hey Cookie, did you hear? Turns out Elmo's gay!" "No way! Me knew it all along!"


Buffoon:
And so they went out Trick or Treating, thinking nothing could go wrong, until the showed up at the wrong house... A house so evil, so nefarious in it's design, that kids in furry costumes didn't realize the trouble they were in until it was much, much too late. This Halloween, coming to a theater near you, it's "DR. TONGUE'S 3-D HOUSE OF VELCRO!!!"


Daleman:
I am looking forward to the 6th congressional district debates.


Nyssa23:
"I guess C is for 'crackhead' too."


Generik:
"Gee, Big Bird, looks like your inner child is trying to get out!"

"That's nothing. You should see where my inner Tickle Me Elmo has got his head."


UnReality:
<sigh> More cutbacks at PBS, I see...


cambria36:
Welcome to the "Bob & Tom" show.


ArtMystery:
"I may be feeling blue, but you -- you're yellow!"


Steve_Reeves:
o/' Can you tell me how to get...how to get away from Sesame Street! o/'


BlakHat1:
Busted TP'ing Oscar's trash can. Charges dropped when Oscar said he actually liked the "new drapes".


amycamus:
*ALWAYS* buy your Sesame Street characters at an official Sesame Street character store; although buying from street vendors may appear to net you a bargain, you usually end up with low-quality, pirated goods.


Beedo:
Jim Henson's Muppet Thalidomide-Babies.


starkbalmy:
After one too many Baba Rums, Big Bird's pal was known as the Cookie-Tossing Monster.


lil_amish:
The Republicans begged then-President Clinton in 1998 to do something about this Bin Laden fellow, but no, he was too busy playing dress-up with Gore!

This Message Brought to You By The Revisionist History Branch of the RNC, ABC television and Satan.


WEIRD_1:
Worst Career Day Ever!


JoeCrow:
Smells like fish
Tastes like chicken
Things that make you go Hmmmmmm?



Jacksinn:
"Cookie Monster season!"
"Big Bird season!"
"Cookie Monster season!"
"Big Bird season!"
"Big Bird season!"
"Cookie Monster season!"
*blam!!*



chilwil:
"Is it true your jock tastes just like McNuggets?"


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