WILL CAP FOR FOOD #205

Agent_Moldy: "Bond... Dentu-Bond..."	suggs: Jolly old elf, or not... He comes down that chimney now, and his ass is mine.	Lanzman: "This'll be perfect for them cheatin' bitches down ta the Bingo hall! Thanks Maw!"
bugwber: How'd you get a picture of my father's aunts?.....	Steve_Reeves: "If Cheney can do it, I can do it!"	Mr_Grant: "So, a baggy purple thong for your grandma, but nothing for me? You ungrateful punk-" *BANG*
questor: Sad to say, but popping a cap at the enema technician gets you street cred at Piney Mountain Nursing Home.	DiscoBoy: Even the vice president of Greater Bloomington Quilters' Circle decided to get in on the "quail hunting" action.	Buffoon: Of course, the really distressing thing (on many levels!) is that this was a baby shower, but that's Texas for ya!
Geier: ...but it was perfectly safe, because Edna was using her good eye.	Generik: "Well, if the Vice President can shoot ONE Republican lawyer, why can't we shoot ALL of them?" "Good point, Elsie. I'll get Karl in here for starters..."	WEIRD_1: Let the Easter bunny just try and leave you kids some baskets and I'll have rabbit stew for supper.
ArtMystery: Every so often, the family of William S. Burroughs likes to reenact the incident in which a drunken William tried to shoot a drink off his wife's head. "Hold still, Mavis!" "My turn next!"	cambria36: Wanda loved all her birthday presents except for the book her husband gave her: Seventy-Seven Ways to Commit Suicide; when she opened his "gift" she then opened fire.	JurassicPork: I see Lynne liked Dick's Christmas present.
starkbalmy: "Oopsie! Oh well, I always hated that green ornament anyway. And I was never too fond of your brother-in-law, either."	gleeb: See, Thelma and Louise turned out OK after all.	nastinkers: Alright Santa, drop the bag or I swear I'll shoot.
NameBrand: "Draw! No, wait -- I'm Clay Aikens' great-aunt Edna!"	Nyssa23: "Thelma & Louise, the Golden Years."	TyranosaurisRex: "I wanted the Smith & Wesson Model 500, but I guess this will do. Anyway, the Model 500 has a lot of recoil and probably would have bothered my arthritis."
lil_amish: Welcome back to "A Very Cheney Christmas". Lynne takes careful aim at Dick to thank him for the lovely Smith & Wesson.	joe678: "Robert Goulet?!?! I hate that son of a bitch!!!" *ka-blam!* "Where the hell's my Placidyl?"	Racerex: It's true. Descendants of Xena the Warrior Princess are still around to this day.
UpSky2: The Grandma's Saturday Night Special Prescription. Comes with matching Bulletproof Vest With Integrated Premarin Patches.	chilwil: Oh my god, it's the dream I keep having: one granny with a gun and the other in a fuschia thong. Luckily, I don't know what it means.	Jacksinn: "I don't know about you, Myrtle, but this little surprise has sure made MY Saturday night special!"
nashtbrutusandshort: . . . and Momma was real happy with her new automatic. Eight shots -- two for each Horseman of the Apocalypse! Well, that's all for now -- here's hoping that we see you all at the fortified compound at least once before the End Times arrive. Merry Christmas, XXXXX	Cyberbeast: "N-29." "I don't think so, motherf*cker!"	JoeCrow: Bitch.... She gets a Colt 1911a and all I got was this lousy fuscia thong. I knew I should'a slept with him.