Hey, it's nearly the end of December 2005, and before we get to the captions, we here at Will Cap For Food just want to take a moment to thank all you wonderful people for playing along with us this year, and to wish you and yours a very wonderful Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Saturnalia (See? I paid attention, Generik!), Festivus, Christmahannukwanzakah, Aunt Mildred's cat's birthday, or whatever you celebrate around this time of the year. Or don't celebrate. Or whatever. Oh, and happy new year, too.

Sitting on a freakshow of a Santa's lap, dress flying up so the underthings are 'splayed for all the world to see, crying desperately for Mom to save the day, big brother also there, in his upsettingly short lederhosen, forced to place his hand wayyyy too close to Santa's naughty bits, and only God knows where Santa's hands are...man, my childhood Christmases were awesome!

I almost didn't recognize Michael Jackson with the white hair and beard, but the quick side-punch to the girl's kidney is his trademark move to be alone with little boys.

Generik and his sister...ummmmm... Moldy and her brother...errrr... Steve_Reeves and...
Well, I have neither the words or the ideas for this, the most disturbing photo of the year in WCFF.

(Webmaster's note: What scares me is that I'm not the only one who thought of a "Moldy and her brother" caption for this!)

Seasons Greetings from Dr. Samuel and Prof. LaVerne Shmolintz and their test subjects/children: Sammy Jr, & "Screaming" Mimi Shmolintz.

"Wednesday, on Lifetime: a single mother falls for a department store Santa, in an all-new Harlequin Fetus Romance!"

At that point, Cindy decided that she did not want a live electrical socket for Christmas.

"Santa Succumbs To The Pod People" was not the lighthearted holiday romp Hollywood had led most people to expect. In fact, it was downright depressing.

Although Timmy accepted his fate with good grace . . . almost welcomed it, in fact . . . Buffy fought with her last breath to escape the clutches of Dracula Claus.

Patrick rather enjoyed meeting Kabuki Clause.... Claire wanted to be Rosie O'Donnell.

"V" never knew who would be of service in his campaign against the plutocrats and despots, but he knew he had to impress his countenance on young Evie early in her otherwise profane life..

Christmas 4: The Return of Kris Kringle

Another fun Christmas at Michael Jackson's house.

"Mother, you will pay for putting me through this hell! Damn you, vile woman!"

"Waaaaah! You are so getting my therapy bill for the rest of your natural existence!"

A very young Scouty is upset when Santa won't give her just one more pudding cup. "Just one more! Just ONE more! I want ONE MORE!! ...Mommyyyyy!!!!"

Joan Rivers stars in the Hallmark Hall of Fame Holiday Special: Kabuki Klaus! ho! ho! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

"Christmas With the Gacys" was CBS' lowest rated holiday program of the century.

"Mama! Santa says I have to eat this booger I picked before he'll give me a candy-cane."

It wasn't Albino Santa's hand on her ass that had little Christina so upset; it was the fact that her brother Ricky kept touching her skirt and saying, "I'm touching you. Am I bugging you? I'm touching you!"

Go Packers!

The Bush administration finally resorts to psychological torture in the war on Christmas.

Sarah disturbs her conservative parents with feminist views beginning at a very young age: "I demand my rights as a woman! I will not be forced to dress like a cupcake, and I will not earn my living by sitting on some weirdo's lap!"

You can always keep then "nice" for a while by telling children that the naughty ones are whisked away to the North Pole and made into Elf Chow.

You da' thought Michael Jackson would have learned by now.

Michael Jackson finds a way to like Christmas.

The Carver in their previous job.

Amy says "Noh!" to Kabuki Santa.

"The new interfaith icon 'Buddha Claus' was not as successful as people has originally hoped."

"Mommy look, Santa ate my booger!!"

"We're Number One! We're Number One! We're... we're going Number One!"

Bad touch! Bad Touch! Really, really BAD TOUCH!

be careful on santa's lap when you ask for the North Pole.

"In light of events since late August, Republicans are grieved, but still insist George W. Bush is Number One... Democrats, though somewhat wary of expressing themselves openly, are essentially hostile."

"Ho! Ho! Ho! So what does imperialist lackey rittle gilr is wanting for evil lerigious Chlistmas horiday?" "WAITER! Where the hell's my Old Fashioned? In a Shirley Temple glass, dammit!!!"

This is the reason you don't hire one of the Borg as your Christmas Santa... (and the greeting, "Have a futile holiday," didn't go over too well with the parents, either).